You love your girlfriend and want to make it work. However, love alone isn’t always enough. Relationships require effort and dedication. If you’re not willing to put in the work, you might find yourself single before you know it. You can enhance your chances of maintaining a healthy relationship with your girlfriend by spending quality time together, prioritizing communication, and practicing compromise.
Method 1: Spending Quality Time Together
- Work on the relationship daily.
Small gestures often show your partner how much you appreciate her. Try to do something each day that demonstrates your care. This could be making dinner, leaving a sweet note, buying flowers, or expressing your gratitude.
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Attending a couple’s counselor or workshop annually can also strengthen your relationship. You might be surprised at how much closer it brings you. Additionally, reading a relationship book together can help maintain your bond.
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- Know when to spend time apart.
The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” holds true, especially in romantic relationships. Taking a day or two for yourself each week helps you appreciate each other more and gives you time to reconnect with yourself, making you a better partner.
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A good rule of thumb is to take a day for yourself every few days spent together.
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- Have mutual interests.
Shared passions create a strong bond between you and your partner. If you spend your leisure time on separate activities, your relationship may suffer. Even if you and your girlfriend are quite different, find at least one interest that connects you and engage in it together regularly.
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Plan a weekly date doing something you both enjoy. While binge-watching a show on Netflix might work for you, try to also do activities outside the house when possible.
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For instance, you might work out together, go for hikes on weekends, visit local art galleries or museums, read the same book, or join a couple’s social group.
Expert Tip: “Lasting bonds also come from working towards a common dream,” says Elvina Lui, Marriage and Family Therapist. “As you grow closer and learn about each other’s dreams, integrating your efforts and direction strengthens your bond. For example, starting a family together or working towards financial goals like owning property or saving for retirement can make you irreplaceable to each other.”
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- Learn her preferences during intimacy.
Physical connection is crucial in relationships. Take the time to understand each other’s likes and dislikes intimately. Paying attention and making efforts to please her shows that you care and want to make her happy.
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Notice what your girlfriend responds to and do more of that. You can also ask her directly about her preferences.
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Establish enthusiastic consent by asking, “Do you like that?” or “Is this okay?” If she responds positively, continue. If she says no or seems unsure, stop.
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Maintain an open attitude about sexual activity, sharing your likes and dislikes, and encouraging her to do the same.
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Method 2: Prioritizing Communication
- Express your needs.
You might hesitate to vocalize what you want from your girlfriend, leading to resentment when she doesn’t meet your needs. Clear communication can prevent this. Encourage her to express her needs as well.
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Use non-defensive “I” statements, like “I need you to trust me. I feel disrespected when you go through my phone. I would appreciate it if you didn’t.”
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- Listen actively.
Especially during arguments, it’s important to listen to what your girlfriend has to say. Let her speak her mind before responding. This shows respect and that you care about her thoughts and feelings.
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While it’s okay to defend yourself, allow her to express her feelings first. This respect might encourage her to reciprocate.
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- Show your support.
Be straightforward about how you feel about your girlfriend. Tell her daily how much she means to you and don’t forget to compliment her.
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Encourage her to pursue her dreams and support her efforts. Applaud her successes and boost her confidence when she struggles.
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Be present at important events to cheer her on.
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If she’s feeling down, comfort her by being there, listening actively, and not judging her.
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- Avoid hurtful words.
Try not to say anything hurtful that you’ll regret later, especially when angry. Fighting is normal and healthy in relationships, but name-calling and degrading words are not.
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If you feel you’re about to say something hurtful, take a break to cool down. Simply tell her you need a moment and walk away to calm down.
Expert Tip: John Keegan, a dating coach, advises, “Every relationship has its ups and downs. Challenges and imperfections are part of every relationship, but learning to navigate them can strengthen the bond between you and your partner.”
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Method 3: Practicing the Art of Compromise
- Accept that you can’t change her.
You’re with your girlfriend because you like her for who she is, despite some dislikes. Accepting her flaws often requires compromise.
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This doesn’t mean compromising on non-negotiables. Find agreements you can both live with. For example, if she spends too much time on her phone, suggest a designated phone-free hour to spend quality time together.
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- Reevaluate your expectations.
You might have entered the relationship with unrealistic expectations. Assess what’s more important: holding onto these ideals or finding a compromise that works for both of you.
- Ensure compromises are fair.
Determine if the compromises you’re making or asking for are fair. Some compromises can feel more like demands and harm the relationship. If you feel a compromise is unfair, discuss it with her. You shouldn’t have to give up what makes you, you, and neither should she.
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Compromises should make you both better and help you grow as a couple. Avoid compromises that negatively impact your life or make you feel bad about yourself.
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